I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
