Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
