Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
