Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
