what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
