Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
