After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
