Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize