My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize