Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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