youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
