i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
