these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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