my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
