Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
