she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
