i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
