Me too!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
