:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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