wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
