Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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