Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
