All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
