she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
