I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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