You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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