I heard we made out
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
