i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
