come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
