I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found puke in my bra..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
