my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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