I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
