so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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