Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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