whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize