We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
