I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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