And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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