You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
