is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
