Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize