i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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