I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
