Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
