She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
