they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
