my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
