i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think a kid would responsible me up
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
