Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
