69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
