I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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