My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
