Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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