just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
