Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
