just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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