dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
