The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
