I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
