woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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