I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
