so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
